Mangyari Lamang

This is my token Valentine’s day post days early and without so much the bitterness and angst. As inept as I am in talking, writing, reading my own language, nothing moves me more than reading a piece of fine, fine writing. And I am sharing this with all of you because no other reading has made me cry as hard as this one did.

<3

Mangyari Lamang
by Rico Abelardo

Mangyari lamang ay tumayo
ang mga nagmahal
nang makita ng lahat
ang mukha ng pag- ibig
ipamalas ang tamis
ng malalim na pagkakaunawaan
sa mga malabo ang paningin

mangyari lamang ay tumayo rin
ang mga nagmahal at nasawi
nang makita ng lahat
ang mga sugat ng isang bayani
ipadama ang pait ng kabiguan
habang ipinagbubunyi
ang walang katulad na kagitingan
ng isang nagtaya

mangyari lamang ay tumayo
ang mga nangangambang magmahal
nang makita ng lahat
ang kilos ng isang bata
ipamalas ang katapatan ng damdamin
na pilit ikinukubli
ng pusong lumaki sa mga engkanto at diwata

mangyari lamang ay tumayo
ang mga nagmahal, minahal at iniwan
ngunit handa pa ring magmahal
nang makita ng lahat ang yaman ng karanasan
ipamalas ang katotohanang nasaksihan
nang maging makahulugan
ang mga paghagulgol sa dilm

at sa mga nananatiling nakaupo
mangyari lamang ay dahan- dahang tumalilis
papalabas sa nakangangang pinto
umuwi na kayo
at sumbatan ang mga magulang
na nagpalaki ng isang halimaw

at sa lahat ng naiwang nakatayo
mangyari lamang ay hagkan ang isa’t isa
at yakapin ang mga sugatan
mabuhay tayong lahat na nagsisikap na makabalik
sa ating pinagmulan
manatiling masaya
at higit sa lahat magpatuloy
sa pagmamahal

Bedtime

So many things were said, so many things still left unsaid. And to quote Vonnegut, “So it goes.” I’m sure everyone is tired from the whole Thirsty Thursday incident and would like to retire to his or her own corner and just sleep it off for a bit, not to forget or live in Dreamland but to sleep, perchance to dream -  of a solution, of an answer – or just peace of mind for a couple of hours. I encourage everyone to crawl, slam, jump, limp into your beds and get some much needed sleep. Put on some relaxing music, drink some warm milk or tea, read a book, get yourself as comfy as possible for tomorrow is another day in the battlefield.

Personally, I just want my Pillow.

Basic math

asymptote (plural asymptotes)

1. (analysis) A straight line which a curve approaches arbitrarily closely, as they go to infinity.

Eg.

Hey Jude

Waking Up

Thanks to Winterheim for the PERFECT album to waste this week away. OneRepublic’s Waking Up album was definitely a very lovely surprise especially if you love strings like me. <3 While Winterheim is a fan of Good Life and All The Right Moves, mine is definitely Secrets and All This Time. But to end this week, it’s definitely all about Waking Up.

I found verity
On Nolan’s Avenue
Down where the air is sweet
As L.A. skies are blue
The water tried to break it down
But it held through
It gave a little for the sake of staying true

We cut ties
We tell lies
We hate change
And we wanna claim where we feel
We take toes
We rake yours
Yeah we dig holes
And we’re diggin right in your fears

We’re waking up
We’re waking up
And right on time
And right on time
We’ll take these roads
We’ll break them up
And right on time
And right on Time!

We got cars
We write laws
We won’t pause
Don’t you know we’re the wizard, welcome to Oz
We don’t lose
We might bruise
Yeah but we’ll rain fire on ya till you’re playing
All of your cards

We’re waking up
We’re waking up
And right on time
And right on Time
We’ll take these roads
We’ll break them up
And right on time
And right on Time!
ON TIME!
ON TIME!
Waking Up!
Waking Up!
Yeah

Oooh!
Oh!
Oooh!

Table for Two

What do you want to order?

Ahdunno. What’s good here?

Lots, by the looks of the menu.

Oh yeah. Ooooh. I want everything! Like .. just a big serving of .. FOOD.

*laughs* Alright, alright. Want me to order for you?

*drops menu, grins*

We’d like to order the sun-dried tomato pesto and chicken pasta thingie, a pepperoni and cheese pizza, and the colossal chocolate chip cookie for dessert.

– After 40 minutes of eating and moaning and savoring every bite –

How’d you like it?

It was amazing. Like .. really, really amazing. *grins, blushes*

Er .. okay .. ? I’m glad you liked it then.

*giggles*

***

FACT: Feeding a Viking would turn him into a giggling, blushing little schoolgirl.

All I wanna do is grow old with you

Speaking of HAPPINESS, I just want to take time out to greet an awesome couple who shows us how it’s done – the compromises, the hardships, the arguments, the diaper change, the promises – and come out like brilliant jewels to show how dull your relationship is in comparison.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, YOU GAIS!

Just to show off that ALL of my girls are fierce and fabulous.

*Z snaps*

BEYBEH!

The Pursuit of Happiness

If happiness made me THIS gorgeous, I’d gladly give up my “too aggressive” lifestyle.

HAPPY
Leona Lewis
[MP3]
[Official video SO worth watching; cried bukkits]

Someone once told me that you have to choose
What you win or lose
You can’t have everything
Don’t you take chances
Might feel the pain
Don’t you love in vain
Cause love won’t set you free
I can’t stand by the side
And watch this life pass me by
So unhappy
But safe as could be

So what if it hurts me?
So what if I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don’t care about all the pain in front of me
Cause i’m just trying to be happy, yeah
Just wanna be happy, yeah

Holding on tightly
Just can’t let it go
Just trying to play my role
Slowly disappear, ohh
But all these days, they feel like they’re the same
Just different faces, different names
Get me out of here
I can’t stand by your side, ohh no
And watch this life pass me by, pass me by

So what if it hurts me?
So what if I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don’t care about all the pain in front of me
Cause i’m just trying to be happy, ohh, happy, ohh

So any turns that I can’t see,
like I’m a stranger on this road
But don’t say victim
Don’t say anything

So what if it hurts me?
So what if I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don’t care about all the pain in front of me

I just wanna be happy
Ohh, yeah, happy, ohh, happy
I just wanna be, ohh
I just wanna be happy
Ohh, happy

<3

3 weeks is less than 333 years

The short of it all: The Spaniard is back in town.

A week ago: He broke silence and messaged me, wanting to catch up when he got here. I am not such a cold-hearted bitch and said, “Sure, something-something one of these days sounds nice.” A tad bored, but polite enough.

Fast forward to yesterday: I was walking along Valero, on my way to work, a couple of feet away from me was The Spaniard walking along with the controversial friend. I didn’t know what to do as I was caught off guard not having seen him in so long, I feigned a phone call. Instead of acknowledging me or saying, “Hey! Hi!”, he kept on walking, COMPLETELY IGNORING ME for fear that the friend might feel uncomfortable with the encounter.

Today: Not even as someone he used to be with, not even as a friend, but just as someone he knew, it was insulting to have been ignored just like that. I can (sort of) understand not having the spine to stand up for me when we were together, but not saying anything when HE made first contact and said, “I don’t want to pretend we never knew each other” is a DICK MOVE.  And somewhere along a conversation, he actually thought that I would leave my wonderful boyfriend just because he’s here.

WHAT AN ASSHOLE.

Hitting the 2-month mark

It’s been two months since The Viking’s arrival and it has been nothing but an emotional roller coaster. Enduring 6 months of separation, crossing continents, a spontaneous week at Hong Kong, and endless nights talking online has finally gotten The Viking to my shores.

You’d think it’d be like the honeymoon period where we would hole ourselves up, disappear from the world, and just enjoy being with each other again. But because it’s a relationship with ME, things tend to get shitty pretty fast, too soon. There were petty fights and big fights. A handful sugarcubes of sweetness and a sea of salty tears. An afternoon filled with playful caresses and twinkling laughter and an evening wrought with exhausting arguments. It was all of that and more.

Oh dear God.

It was so hard to handle being with someone who has no idea of how to be a boyfriend or knew how things went in a relationship. On one hand, it was wonderful to be the one to guide him through to find his own relationship style, but on the other, I was so GODDAMNED TIRED of always having to be the one to do it. It’s difficult to get mad at someone who doesn’t have much life experience, may gatas pa sa labi. He was so naive and innocent of the pitfalls of being a couple. The Viking was equally frustrated with me as I’m stubborn as a mule and like things done MY way. I assumed he could read minds, but as we all know, boys lack that talent to read between the lines, infer from your tone, choice of words, facial expression, body language, and magically come up with what’s bugging you.

But despite all the bitterness and yelling and arguing and backseat driving and crying (GOOD GOD, A LOT OF CRYING), there are the days where things are good, nay, GREAT. I have to hand it to The Viking, for someone who hasn’t been in a relationship for a decade, he sure knows how to spoil a girl. And I mean, SPOIL A GIRL. Let’s not let our imaginations go overboard and him on an imaginary spending spree at Shangri-La. Not that kind. This love is shown through action. He’d GLADLY cook dinner AND do the dishes. He’d make my bed AND give me a massage. He’d drive me around AND let me be a backseat driver. Not that he likes the latter part, but he just lets me go nuts criticizing him and not say anything because he UNDERSTANDS that I like doing things MY way and that I just get upset he’s not driving like he was playing Grand Theft Auto. He’d offer to park the car in Parking Hell that is Makati AND bring me lunch since I’m too busy at work to pick up anything. (Yes, he knows I do nothing but Facebook and Twitter the whole day, but that doesn’t diminish his efforts to lessen hassles for me.) I *have* taken advantage of some of his offers, but I have not abused any of them.

For you, he might sound like hired help, but he insists that making me less neurotic is his pleasure. And I, in my own odd and questionable ways, do show my love for him. I may not hang on to his arm and gaze up adoringly at him while listening intently on every word at every conversation, but who needs that when you wake up to a plateful of bacon, sausages, toast, rice, butter, juice, pancakes, honey syrup, blueberries, and a steaming cup of coffee?

Love. It’s making itself comfortable here.