Cross your fingers

I’ve been needing a vacation for ages. And everyone of you’s have heard me whine and cry over plans that never pulled through. Well, I need you to cross your fingers and every other appedage that is capable of doing so because this weekend I’m finally trekking up to Baguio. I didn’t want to jinx the whole thing by telling ya’ll but I feel I’m gonna need all the positive vibes to make this vacation happen for a VERY VERY tired hot momma.

I just wish that I wasn’t getting up there with EIGHT other CALL CENTER PEOPLE. Come share with me the hatred that I have for them. Don’t get me wrong, they’re nice people. But they are oblivious to everyone else around them when they talk. It’s like they talk shop CONSTANTLY. And that is just rude when you have a civilian in your midst. As we speak, I am listing down of things to do just to tune them out. Short of gagging all of them for the horrendous EIGHT-HOUR TRIP, I have on my list is “listen to my mp3 player” and “feign sleepiness.” Other than that, I might have to stuff my faggotty, prenatal pills into my ears.

Baby shower

I’m due to have one. Problem is, I don’t know the proper protocol for such things. Why must we always be proper, huh? And as far as I know, close friends of the mom-to-be throw it, not the mom-to-be. As if she doesn’t have enough to deal with already.

Don’t even get me started on the gifts. I mean, there’s supposed to be a registry to make it easier for everyone, but is that too much imposition? It’s not like I’m picking out fine china, but still. This country (and populace) is not known to follow such customs. I know of a couple who didn’t register for their wedding and ended up getting 6, count ‘em, SIX, rice cookers. What the fuck are they to do with SIX RICE COOKERS?! In the same way, I don’t want to end up with 6 breast pumps and no stroller. UGH.

Gay lovin’ for the Roo

Scissor Sisters’ frontman Jake Shears was making his presence known in Britain in other ways. In an interview with tabloid The Sun, he revealed a crush one of England’s football stars:

“I think Wayne Rooney is totally hot — he’s so sexy. I don’t know anything about football. I know who David Beckham is but I think Wayne is really, really cute — totally my cup of tea. Those World Cup ads with the England flag where Wayne’s half-naked I thought, ‘Gosh you’re so hot!’ I’d rather dance with him than his girlfriend anyway.”

Shears’ comments didn’t go unnoticed by the Manchester United team, where Wayne Rooney experienced a bit of hetero locker room ribbing according to reports by the same publication:

Ringleader Rio Ferdinand was dishing out the most stick, singing Scissor’s hit Filthy/Gorgeous when his chum Roo arrived at the team’s Carrington training ground on Saturday morning.

And when Roo walked into the dressing room he found a copy of The Sun open on my Bizarre page with Jake’s confession.

During preparations for yesterday’s big game with Arsenal other players chipped in with limp-wristed hand gestures and camp accents.

A source said: ‘Wayne knew he was in for a torrid time before he came into training. Rio and the boys were cracking up when they read about his new admirer. There was no chance Wayne was going to be let off lightly. They were all singing Scissor Sisters songs in falsetto voices and shouting ‘Chase me, chase me’ on the pitch in camp voices.

Wayne took it in good spirits and said he was ‘flattered’ because his fiancée Coleen McLoughlin loves the band — which made things worse.’

Wayne retaliated after training, shouting: “How many of you have a gay following?” — at which point the players all turned and pointed at Portuguese winker Cristiano Ronaldo.

SOURCE: The Sun

Things that are gay

1. My prenatal pills.

They couldn’t come up with a more decent color palette? Really?

Hot pink, sky blue, and pastel pink? Really?! REALLY?!

2. “Rockin’ out” with the Scissor Sisters.

3. David Beckham .. hooking up with Tom Cruise.