I have the attention span of a gnat, but when it comes to more .. eclectic things, I tend to run obsessed. First I point and laugh, and then I try a little, and then comes the obsession part.
There was the Franck Ribery/Oliver Neuville phase
The Pierluigi Collina phase
The Fabio phase
I wear a badge that says “On fire for Franck,” ” Horny for Ollie,” “Pantyless for Pier,” and “Buttery for Fabio.” SRSLY. Lulubelle has the same collection as well. I do not regret loving each and every single one of these men. They are .. unique and special in their own way.
But now may I present to you, the latest member of my daily playlist, that brings the piiiiimp back into the country gangsta genre, TRACE ADKINS.
LYRICS (so we can all join in on the festivities)
Turn it up some
Alright boys, this is her favorite song
You know that right
So, if we play it good and loud
She might get up and dance again
Ooh, she put her beer down
Here she comes
Here she comes
Left left left right left
Whoo
Husslers shootin’ eightball
Throwin’ darts at the wall
Feelin’ damn near 10 ft. tall
Here she comes, Lord help us all
Ol’ T.W.’s girlfriend done slapped him outta his chair
Poor ole boy, it ain’t his fault
It’s so hard not to stare
At that honky tonk badonkadonk
Keepin’ perfect rhythm
Make ya wanna swing along
Got it goin’ on
Like Donkey Kong
And whoo-wee
Shut my mouth, slap your grandma
There outta be a law
Get the Sheriff on the phone
Lord have mercy, how’s she even get them britches on
That honky tonk badonkadonk
(Aww son)
Now Honey, you can’t blame her
For what her mama gave her
You ain’t gotta hate her
For workin’ that money-maker
Band shuts down at two
But we’re hangin’ out till three
We hate to see her go
But love to watch her leave
With that honky tonk badonkadonk
Keepin’ perfect rhythm
Make ya wanna swing along
Got it goin’ on
Like Donkey Kong
And whoo-wee
Shut my mouth, slap your grandma
There outta be a law
Get the Sheriff on the phone
Lord have mercy, how’s she even get them britches on
With that honky tonk badonkadonk
(Ooh, that’s what I’m talkin’ bout right there, honey)
We don’t care bout the drinkin’
Barely listen to the band
Our hands, they start a shakin’
When she gets the urge to dance
Drivin’ everybody crazy
You think you fell in love
Boys, you better keep your distance
You can look but you can’t touch
That honkey tonk badonkadonk
Keepin’ perfect rhythm
Make ya wanna swing along
Got it goin’ on
Like Donkey Kong
And whoo-wee
Shut my mouth, slap your grandma
There outta be a law
Get the Sheriff on the phone
Lord have mercy, how’s she even get them britches on
That honky tonk badonkadonk
That honky tonk badonkadonk
Yeah, that honky tonk badonkadonk
(That’s it, right there boys, that’s why we do what we do
It ain’t for the money, it ain’t for the glory, it ain’t for the free whiskey
It’s for the badonkadonk)
*swoon*
Aren’t you just smitten by this gorgeous, poetic specimen? I have now downloaded six of his albums. I shall be listening to it while I fall into a sweet, sweet slumber.
RIP.
Chris Benoit.
I don’t know what to say .. I don’t even know what happened ..
We WILL miss you.
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How sad is THIS picture?
*********UPDATE**********
HOORAY FOR YOUTUBE AND Director CSIMUSIC. YOU ROCK!
And now, I present to you, Abandon Opening Titles by Clint Mansell feat. Katie Holmes.
*****
I’ve been dying to find out that song .. about that episode .. where there are dead bodies .. and the figure it out .. yeah. That one.
Actually, this is from that episode where the bodies of victims are being exhumed. It creeped me out at first .. and then it started to sound cool .. and now I’m obsessed with it. What else is new?
Oh yeah, it, ironically, turns out to be “Abandon Opening Titles” by Clint Mansell feat. Katie Holmes.
And WordPress is a bitch. I can’t give you a sample because it’s imeem and WordPress doesn’t support it.
Stolen from Ben (who has a lot of cool crap on his site).
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1. We get moody around our periods.
2. We talk about you to our girlfriends and compare notes with each other. We say things like, “He’s so cute!” when we’re happy with you, and “He’s such a jerk” when we’re pissed. And one of our favorite things to say to one another is,”You deserve better.”
3. We get a little bit jealous when you talk about your ex-girlfriends.
4. We wish you didn’t like sports so much — it takes time away from you lavishing attention on us.
5. We like it when you lavish attention on us.
6. And call us “pretty.”
7. Yeah, that’s good.
8. And when you remember stuff — like our birthdays and that Lindt chocolate is our favorite.
9. When that happens, we gush to our girlfriends and say, “Isn’t he cute?!”
10. We like it when you notice stuff, like when we dye our hair black or wear a new dress.
BONUS:
11. We like presents!
Want more?
1. If we’re ever alone in your apartment for an extended period of time — maybe house-sitting for you while you’re out of town, or sleeping in after you’ve left for work or something, we’re totally going to go through your shit and look for evidence of all past relationships. We’re searching for pictures, love notes, cards, uh, ticket stubs you might have saved, anything that might link us to a life you had prior to dating us. We won’t stop until we find something, anything. And when we find that thing — that picture of the two of you on your vacation to San Francisco two springs ago, we will fixate on all the ways she’s prettier and more perfect than we are, and how you can’t possibly be over her and look how happy you are in this picture and we’ve never seen that shirt before, is that a shirt she gave you and now you can’t bring yourself to wear it because it just tears you up so much inside thinking about how you lost your one great love in life and you’ll never find anyone like her again and now you’re just stuck with some boring girl like us with flat hair and lips that could never, ever be as luscious and perfect as your ex’s?
Trust me, we don’t like this behavior any more than you do. Not only are we wrecked with guilt over invading your privacy, we feel ashamed and childish over our issues of insecurity and jealousy we know we should have gotten over long, long ago. It’s very difficult being a female — hey, do you have any chocolate?
2. We have period panties we hope you never, ever see. I’m not going to go into detail here, but I’ll just say this: if you ever do happen to inadvertently catch a glimpse of the period panties, oh for the love of god, please just do us all a favor, and never mention it. Thanks.
3. We’re probably gassier than you are. Some of us. Not me. I mean, I don’t ever have gas. I’m talking about other girls. Like your ex…the one with the perfect hair and lips. I’m sure she’s really gassy. Good thing you got rid of her.
4. We don’t shave our legs until we’re positive we want to have sex with you. That way, if you get us drunk and worked up enough, we’ll know we can’t do it because we’re hairy and you’ll never want to see us again. After we become intimate, we’ll only shave regularly for about 3-6 months. After that, we know we’ve got you hooked and we pretty much stop trying to impress you. Sorry.
5. As soon as we find out your sign, we start reading your horoscope obsessively, looking for any sort insight into your character, trying desperately to figure you out because we’ve decided you’re very complicated and mysterious, since that’s the only reason we can come up with for you not calling very often or wanting to see us as much as we want to see you, because it would never occur to us that you might be dating other people, or maybe aren’t that interested in us, or perhaps you’re busy. Nope, it has to be something else — some deep character flaw, something we can fix! We love to fix you.
6. In fact, we spend hours upon hours with our girlfriends analyzing everything you do, say, imply, talk about, don’t say, don’t do, the ways you look at us, the different ways you’ve answered the phone, how you dress when you see us, just to figure out whether you like us or not.
7. That first time you called — and we didn’t answer the phone? We just wanted you to leave a message so we could listen to your voice over and over and decide if we liked you. Also, if we do decide we like you, at any given time, we have at least one voice message of yours saved and every once in awhile, we listen to it. And it makes us feel good.
8. Your text messages are like little drops of sunlight in our day.
9. You really have no idea how obsessed we get over you.
10. And it shames us sometimes.
11. So, from time to time, we say to ourselves, “Self, this kind of one-sided obsession, this isn’t healthy,” and to sort of balance things out and convince ourselves we can totally go a whole day without thinking about you, we won’t answer your calls for about 24 hours. This makes us feel like we have control and that everything is right in the world again. We especially like it when you call when we’re out with the girls, and we can pull out our cell phone when it rings, check the caller ID, and say, “Oh, it’s just him. You know, he can leave a message, I don’t have to talk to him every minute of the day,” while we sort of roll out eyes in that way that conveys to our friends you’ve been kind of needy lately.
12. Hey, better you than us, for once.
13. Sometimes we “create drama” just to see if you’ll stick around after it blows over. If you do, it means you like us, and we finally have proof.
14. We have and remember the anniversary for everything in our relationship — from the first date, to the first kiss, the first sleep-over, and the first ‘I love you.’ We measure these things in months, and we tell our friends,”It’s three months today since the first time we ate Thai take-out together.” These anniversaries are very, very meaningful to us. If you remembered one, or even just made one up, we’d pretty much swoon for the rest of our lives.
15. Every ex-boyfriend we have has one quality, that despite how much he may have hurt us, we wish you possessed. This desire is especially acute when you’ve pissed us off.
16. We’d like to give your wardrobe a make-over.
17. You know that myth about girls freaking out over their boyfriends having female friends? Totally not true. We are so okay with your female friends. As long as they’re your sisters, or they’re ugly, or maybe they’re married. Actually, we’re just okay with your sisters. But, we really think they’re great (I mean, they like us, right?).
18. Your friends totally hit on us when you turn your back for a second. We don’t tell you because we don’t want to cause problems since we know you’ve been friends forever and the likelihood of us being around for more than a few months is pretty slim, and also because your friends are pretty hot.
19. Not that we would ever do anything with them. Unless you dump us, you big jerks, then everything’s fair game.
20. And one last secret — one we don’t even admit to ourselves most of the time:
When it’s been awhile since we’ve had a boyfriend and we’ve gotten used to being the lone single girl at dinner parties and friends’ birthdays, when our weekend plans don’t revolve around calculating our next date and we don’t lose sleep wondering why it’s been two days since we’ve heard from you, when we don’t have to worry about the state of our unshaved legs, or if our under-garments match, and whether you might be more turned on if we got waxed, when we aren’t worried about losing you because there’s no ‘you’ to lose, and there’s anticipation every time we got out that we might meet “someone,” we’re usually happier than we ever were with you, because most of you? Most of you don’t deserve us. At least, that what our girlfriends say.
I’ve been tagged by Louis, I’ve to post an entry of 8 random facts about myself. Through this, you guys may probably know a bit more about me. Before I start, there are some rules to be followed.
1. Each player starts with 8 random facts/habits about themselves.
2. People who are tagged write their own blog post about their 8 things and post these rules.
3. At the end choose 8 people to get tagged and list their names.
4. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged and to read your blog.
Hygeine:
I LOVE taking SCALDING hot showers. I like scrubbing myself down, as hard as I can and for as long as I can hog the bathroom. I absolutely hate it when the water is cold. Exception is when it’s really, really, REALLY hot that the pipes become heaters themselves.
Fashion:
I absolutely cannot leave the house in an outfit I am not comfortable in. Be it a shirt and flipflops or a little black dress and hooker heels, I HAVE to feel the part. I “become” the clothes, and in order for that, I have to put my game face on. HOO-HA!
Manners:
I hate people who walk slow, are rude, are fat and take up an equivalent of three seats and don’t even pay for the extra seat they take up, people who count every fucking penny, and who are a bore. They walk slow because they have nowhere to be and no one to see. Get a life. They are rude because they do not know the finer points of being a human being and nobody has taught them. Find some friends and get a life. I have nothing against extra-chunky but I just need to know that they know they’re chunky and at least offer to pay for the damned seats. You are rude and obese, not just big-boned. Get a trainer and a life. And you, counting every cent, stop it. Just drop it into the charity box near the counter. At least it’ll help someone other than a tight-fisted dickwad like you. Help someone else and get a life. People are boring because they have nothing to say. Not even an un-interesting thing to say. Get a life. And maybe after, we can talk.
(See? I’m nice. I didn’t say I hate emo, WoW players, Ragnarok-ers, and such. I AM nice, damnit.)
Morning poision:
I take my coffee light and sweet. The Dad still can’t get this right so I’m hoping someone else can just to prove that I am not hard to please. At Starbucks, the order follows: a tall brewed coffee (of whatever is the day’s brew) in a grande or, during a bad morning, a grande in a venti. Top it off with half and half plus 6-8 packets of sugar. Same ratio/mix goes for all drinks. See? That wasn’t so hard, was it?
Hot wheels:
I gotz mad driving skillz. I’ve been complimented on my navigational abilities as well. Well, it wasn’t exactly complimenting as it was kicking and screaming in my ear while I was dodging oncoming traffic at the same time trying to have my spaghetti and meatball lunch. I mean, people can be so ruuuude sometimes, ya know? Here you are, trying to get a spoonful of spaghetti without spilling any on your crisp black shirt and they’re grabbing the wheel away from you. I mean, assmunch, if you don’t want to get stabbed with a plastic fork, you better calm down because that 10-wheeler heading for us is just a mirage and it’ll go away when we get close enough to it, a’ight?. And as the result of my superb, Amazing-Race worthy skills, I am dumbfounded at people who can’t read a frickin’ map. Seriously. It’s not like it’s the map of the world. It’s a map of your own city, where you go EVERY FRICKIN’ DAY. For Christmas, you will get a road map and I’ll staple it to your ass. No need to thank me. I’m just spreading the cheek cheer.
Teh Intarwubz addiction:
These days I cannot live without driving through the information highway. It’s not so much as information as gossip and online purchases. Don’t judge me. You don’t know me. In any case, I have, like, a weird system when I sit in front of the PC. And it has to be in a particular tab order and opened all at once (if the computer can handle it). 
It goes .. Microsoft Outlook >> List of things to do today >> Gmail >> Multiply >> Uneditedmara >> Sign in to Yahoo Messenger >> And then like 7 gossip rag tabs >> Liverpool >> Kickette >> Football wife >> Football365 >> The Offside >> Other people’s blog.
Bag hag:
I used to be a straight-shooting, no-nonsense, cellphone-wallet kinda carryin’ gal but that’s all changed now. In my bag I have:
gold vintage wallet
Nokia 9500 communicator
Creative Jukeboz
Watson’s wet wipes
Nivea Cherry Kiss lip balm
fan
house keys, office keys
gold vintage aviators
umbrella
Alcogel hand sanitizer
hair clamp
ballpen
comb
TicTacs
TAGGING:
SPOILERS AHEAD.
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WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Burke is a fucking pussy. I mean, Christina worked her ass off in the relationship and all he could do was whine that she didn’t give enough. HELLO? You’re a fucking surgeon already and she’s just an intern! I mean, can’t you feel for people who can’t perfectly juggle both?! Burke is a fucking asshole. Burke is a fucking pig. After all she’s done, he has the nerve to leave HER at the altar. She did everything for him despite her not wanting to. That’s what you do. That’s how it is when you’re in a relationship. Good on her that she’s rid of that fuck. But the nerve of him to place the blame on her.
And George. He has to get over himself. He is married. If he doesn’t want to be then he should get a divorce. They did it on a whim anyway. And if Calli wants to have a baby, is he just going to let her? If that’s what he wants to do. But he has no right to mope about. It’s his own fucking fault he flunk despite marrying into “The Cards.”
That slut, Izzy, well she just needs a good bitchslap. She can’t see that she’s clearly ruining George’s life. All these promises and big proclamations and then in the end she takes them back? What the hell is up with that?! You don’t do that! You don’t do that ELEVENTY MILLION times! She needs a good whupin’.
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This stupid series is just annoying me today.
If you want a woman to get off your back about doing something, all you have to say is “Yes.” The nagging stops. The wondering of is-he-ever-gonnas stop. The constant arguing stops. She just wants to know that even if it’s against your will or better judgment, you’re going to do it anyways, just for her. And then, she just might stop asking if you want to join a spinning class or paint pots or have a baby. Because if you’ve given up your dignity and wear pants that aren’t torn to an important party just because she asked, she’ll think about what she has to give up in return. Women aren’t as cruel as men make them out to be. We just have to be sneaky letting you know that we want the same things as you do.
You know who I hate in Grey’s Anatomy? I mean, more than the sniveling, clingy Burke or the spineless Dr. Shepard or the little, indecisive boy that is George or the unfeeling Alex? I hate Thatcher Grey. The moment that he slapped Meredith, my hatred for the weak men surfaced like it was oil in the Exxon disaster.
Thatcher was weak and disgusting and soft and vulnerable. He fills the image of a man that I would not dare take time to look upon. He felt emasculated at the fact that his wife was the more powerful one and that she hardly had time for him and Meredith what with all the hospital duties she had to attend to and save lives. But if the roles were reversed, Ellis would’ve stood by him, head held high and kept the family together. Not Thatcher. Not that pathetic excuse for a man. He left HIS FAMILY. Over such a trivial thing. He should be burnt alive. UGH. I feel utterly disgusted by his sobbing and twisted face. The Thatchers of the world do not have my sympathy.
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Sorry, I just needed to vomit that post.
