Sins of the Father

The insanity just continues to rage in their bloodline, don’t it?

The Douchebag: Can Isabella stay over the weekend?

Uneditedmara: No. You can pick her up for her doctor’s appointment and then bring her back home the same day.

The Douchebag: I am her father, not a chauffeur.

Uneditedmara: Ahahahahaha! Now you want to use your ‘Father’ title? Really? You are tragically hilarious.

The Douchebag: Sorry, not taking the bait. Just tell me if you want me out of her life. Don’t use her as your pawn.

IS HE FUCKING FOR REAL?

Uneditedmara: Listen, you little shit. I’ve never denied her from you nor have I used her for my gain. What you fail to process in that pathetic piece of mass you call a brain is that I am her mother and have a say in things. And when have I ever denied visitation rights without just cause? So don’t you come to me with your drama and self-righteous quips, got that?

Who the fuck does this fat bastard think he is? And he uses the “Father” card? Come on! Even Darth Vader held back letting Luke know that he was the spawn of Satan. I don’t know why he’s so eager to let Isabella know that she has a mentally retarded and financially challenged moron for a dad.

And .. WOW. Everytime his family (take note: NOT HIM) asks if Isabella can stay for the weekend, I say, “Yes.” And I’m not saying “Yes” because I’m using her to smuggle arsenic and lace their food with poison (although I know that she’s up to that challenge), am I?

I don’t have any obligation to associate my child with people that have a warped sense of morality. You don’t see me taking her to KKK meetings do you? And though she can “Seig Heil” with the best of them, I don’t let her run off to SS meetings, do I? I’m already being fucking decent about this whole thing.

Oh yeah.

People who don’t have a job, don’t have a say on how I raise my child.

Sticks and Stones

Stolen from bubbletoes/whoopsydaisies

The rules are simple. List 20 things you want to say to 20 people but know you never will. Don’t say who they are …

1. You don’t know what you’re missing out on.

2. I don’t know what you’re going on about. If anything, you’re making this about you. WTF?

3. I wish we could hang out. But I don’t know if I can.

4. I love your honesty, I really do. It’s a breath of fresh air in these ‘ere parts.

5. Growing up is no easy thing. I guess this year is as good as any to do it.

6. Stop it. Before anyone else gets hurt. And by anyone, I mean you.

7. You’re being petty, you know that? Suck it up and be the bigger man.

8. You’re not fat. If anything, you’re hotter now than last year. I’d totally do you. (Is that better?)

9. You are a worthless piece of dog turd.

10. How could you not have told me?! You’ve just given me an excuse to visit, though.

11. I love your smile! You should do it more often.

12. It’s you. It’s always been you. So don’t hurt him, okay? Else, I will split that fuckin’ lip of yours wide open. I swear to God.

13. Can I just give you a huge bear hug? The biggest I can manage? Please?

14. I say that you’re disgusting, but sometimes, it really is sugary sweet.

15. I’m happy for you.

16. Get a fucking job, you moron.

17. I am sorry. But you should be, too.

18. Call me if you need me. I don’t care if it’s the middle of the night or Sunday morning. Call me.

19. You didn’t know what it was like, you judgmental cunt.

20. I don’t see why he favors you more.

Adam (forget Eve)

Adam Levine

He wants the viewer to know it would require at least three agents to examine him because the sheer power of his attractiveness would cause all of the instrumentation to suddenly read

“Warning: Libidinous Demigod Is About To Rock Your World.”

Cracked.com

I envy Tiffy’s pie

So yeah. It’s all about caloric intake for me. Beers and unhealthy bar food, SPPs and ice creams .. *sighs* what dreams are made of .. Gym? What gym? What is this “exercise” you speak of?

Crosswords teach people stuff.

After months of not having finished a single crossword puzzle, May 7th finally broke my streak. Okay, so I may not have entirely done it on my own. There was someone else trying to butt in and look over my shoulder with every clue (as if knowing the right answer or even the simple MEANING of the word, *rolls eyes*). Fine, fine. I’m going to call this one a “group” effort, but it was mostly from MY group of brain cells.

Notes:
* Looking at the puzzle UPSIDEDOWN is NOT a valid excuse for not helping with the clues.
* If you’re going to be accosted at every mall entrance, you might as well know the term of what they’re doing to you. It’s called being “frisked”. Others call it “sexual harassment”. I just call it “public secksing”.
* A headdesk-throw-down-walk-away conversation:

Uneditedmara: Okay, 65 down. Clue: commercial on the tube. Four letters.
Unhelpful Git:
Uneditedmara: o.O
Unhelpful Git: I don’t know. I mean, you’re the advertising person, not me. You should know what those things are.
Uneditedmara: *looks at crossword* Argh. *palmforehead* TV AD. Sheesh. Slow, I am.
Unhelpful Git: What? What do you mean TV AD?
Uneditedmara: You know, those things on TV? Commercials? Television advertisments? TV AD?
Unhelpful Git: OH! Is that what’s meant by a tube?
Uneditedmara: ?!
Unhelpful Git: (backpedalling) Oh, I thought it meant like the London Underground. Tube, y’know? And the ads that are placed there ..
Uneditedmara: O.O
Unhelpful Git: So you call TV a tube? Huh.
Uneditedmara: O.O
Unhelpful Git: Ah. YouTube makes more sense now.
Uneditedmara: *screams inside her head* OH. MY. GOD.