A lesson in detachment

Vinny (Teh Irish’s Irish friend) has met a “really, really, really nice girl”. And she provides for some dumbass moments. So much so that I want to smack her upside the head. As to date, they’ve known each other for, like, a week.

Scene 1: INT. Some seedy hostel in Malate.

Vinny (to self): Fuck. The condom broke.

Vinny (to really, really, really nice girl): You’re on the pill, right?

Really, really, really nice girl: No.

Vinny:

Scene 2: INT. Some seedy room in Boracay.

Vinny puts on a condom. (Props for safety.)

RRRNG: What’s that?

Vinny: A .. condom ..

Scene 3: INT. Breakfast table

Teh Irish makes small talk

Teh Irish: You know that Vinny is leaving tomorrow, right?

RRRNG: No. *starts to cry*

Teh Irish:

DETACHMENT. YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG.

Onion breeze, Irish style

Scene: Chilling out at Uneditedmara’s house
Mood: Relaxed, melancholic, a little drunk

Teh Irish: Hey.

Uneditedmara: Hmmm?

Teh Irish: Have you ever been to the Philippines?

Uneditedmara: Er .. what?

Teh Irish: Have you ever *been* to the Philippines?

Uneditedmara: *thinks to self: maybe this is like a philosophical question*

Teh Irish: Well .. have you?

Uneditedmara: Since I live here .. I guess .. I’ve *been* to the Philippines ..

Teh Irish: (obviously annoyed) Wha?! What? What are you saying?

Uneditedmara: *talks s-l-o-w-l-y* You .. asked .. if I’ve been .. to the Philippines ..

Teh Irish: WTF?

Uneditedmara: Yeah, you asked that.

Teh Irish: *realizes* Well, that was a stupid question.

Uneditedmara: *blinkblink*