Scene: Int. Some random bar in Malate
Mood: Melacholic
$ex sidles up to Teh Irish
Teh Irish: No, thank you.
$ex: Oh, eeets okey, lab. Cheap por yu.
Teh Irish: What are you? A GRO?
$ex: Op kors nat! I em e prostichute noh!
$ex with pride FTW.
Scene: Int. A massage parlor somewhere in Malate
Mood: Massage-y
Teh Irish: Yes, I would like a massage please.
Masseuse: Okay.
Teh Irish strips and lies down on table.
Masseuse enters.
Teh Irish: Er .. no offense, mister. But I don’t want no man touching me.
Man-sseuse says something to miss-euse.
Whole parlor giggles.
Teh Irish proceeds to have an awkward massage that leaves him in more pain than when he came in.
So kiddies, beware of man-sseuses and parlors located in the Malate area. Happy endings DO come with shame in the morning.
Scene: Ext. Teh Irish at Ice Bar, Greenbelt
Mood: Senses a couple of women following him exit the bar
Teh Irish: *turns around* What do you want?
$ex: Wanna haba gud taym?
Teh Irish: No, thank you.
$ex: Eeets okey. I won’t tell eniwan.
Teh Irish: No, thank you. I’m actually waiting for my wife.
$ex: Eeets okey. Yoo ken tell her I’m yor gerlprend and we ken hab trisam.
Teh Irish: No, I don’t think she would like that.
$ex: Por yu, eeets cheap lang.
Teh Irish: Eh, no, thanks. My wife has all my money.
$ex: Ah okey. Por yu, eeets pree.
Teh Irish: *walks away*
Solicitation. You’re doing it wrong.
PS – I’m stereotyping whooooore language, I know.
