Clinically Insane is off in some far, far away land where the days are filld with gorgeous, gorgeous fourain men in suits and being all serious and stuff. They probably have their thick-rimmed glasses on, IDs clipped to their lapels or pockets, taking down serious, grown-up notes, and listening to important things. Rawrrr. Men who know things = HOT. In any case, she’s been feeling down and out since she has time on her hands and the internet. We know how messy that can get. Her latest post did get me thinking.
Perhaps it’s the quarter life crisis – to have gone so far yet not having been able to take a real step forward. But who’s to say that I/we haven’t? Isn’t it different for everyone? I know of people who’ve had fabulous jobs and to-die-for careers and maybe I’d trade my life for theirs just because that’s the picture I have. To be working as a copywriter in some hip, cool advertising agency where I’d just come in after noon, strutting into the conference room with my torn up jeans and Vans, nary a collar in sight, face a room full of stuffy brand managers, account executives, and pencil pushers, let them look straight into my bloodshot eyes from an all night bender with the coolest people on the A list, pitch them an idea that I only cooked up before I walked in the damn room, sell it, and have them lap it all up and laud me as a genius! an icon of the young, renegade advertising world! would be the ideal, perfect, to-the-T job I would have.
Yes, we have those marketing figures for you right here.
But maybe I’m not cut out for that. I also need to be open to that possibility. That I’m never going to be a influential hotshot or raking in the big bucks. I am not even scared to not have the money. Not because I’m a trust fund baby or that daddy’s gonna buy me out of my life. I know it’s (ultimately) not about the money. Because I am doing a job that is .. meh .. okay, not too bad, not that great either and I get by just fine. I am more scared that I don’t find that ONE thing I really, really love doing. I tell people it’s writing and they say to go pursue it. But, like everyone else, I need to want it really badly. Else, I shall prove a facet of the Aries horoscope right – that Aries, although can rally the troops, cannot finish what they started. Okay, not that I believe any of that mumbo jumbo, but there may be some truth to it, whether you are an Aries or not. I envy those who have the passion for without it, how can anyone really, truly enjoy what they have? I want to have the money, who doesn’t? But if I am working somewhere that is bleeding my soul dry, I think it I may have to rethink some things. I remember asking someone, not too long ago, what their passion was .. what gets them up every morning .. what’s that one thing that gives them the spirit to rise against the odds. I don’t remember what the answer was. But perhaps I should be directing that question at myself.
His is obviously eye makeup and blunt razorblades.
Bottom line is, we do what we can (to borrow Tim Gunn’s philosophy) to “make it work”. There is no other way around it. Some people just have the natural ability to make sense out of numbers and pie charts and graphs and read into the socioeconomic atmosphere, but that’s not me. I can’t even be bothered to solve a simple algebraic equation. But I’m okay with that. I NEED to be okay with that. Otherwise, I’ll be chasing someone else’s dreams. I need to find out what mine is before I even know where to begin. I need to re-affirm that I am me and I can’t be anyone else. As much as I wish hard, I cant be Glinda. Perhaps along the lines of wanting to be like her, I can pick up a few things that can help me better myself. But in the end, I can’t be her. And as for being happy, I cannot say that I am deliriously so, but it ain’t too shabby. I got my family and friends, my health, and my kickass Izzy. Anything added to that is just cherry on a rockin’ good sundae.
