I am Awesome merely by association

In an attempt to curb the doom and gloom that my blog is WORLD-RENOWNED for (NOT), bear with me as I try an infuse some warm and fuzzies .. or else I will cut off your head and spit down your throat.

First off, Bakla and Mr. Muscle. (Yes, the couple that’s recently announced that they are bearing a bubba and planning a wedding (for you who are not a follower of this blog (to which I should say, SHUN THE NON-BELIEVER! SHUUUN!)). Well, they met around 4 (?) something years ago and have been together ever since. No, it wasn’t the perfect relationship where everything was just oozing puppies and sugar sprinkles. They had their fair share of the good, the bad, and the OMGWTFWHYTHEHELLAMIEVENWITHYOU moments. Granted that they didn’t do things sequentially (ring, marry, baby), they did things their own way. First came the baby, then came the marriage, and now I am proud to announce (with a big fat HELLZ YEAH) the ring. HE PROPOSED!!! I wasn’t actually there when he did (and it may have not looked like THIS *gripes*), but I can tell you right now that it must’ve been oh so romantic!!! I mean, for Bakla. Not for me. Pffft. I could care less. BUT YAY FOR HER! Apparently, it happened at Greenbelt Chapel, the first church they went to as a couple. He already brought out a box for her in the middle of a Holloween party and led her to the chapel. And at the chapel, he proposed. Can you just imagine the dancing fairies and fireflies and twinkling stars while he asked her?! *clasps hands and giggles madly* One for the storybooks, I tells ya.

Secondly, Clinically Insane. This is not a story like the previous. It probably does not have fairies and fireflies, certainly not a ring, but a proposal of her own. You see, she suffers the same thing everyone does, except in clinically unstable doses. Insecurity and depression are just a few of her demons. I love her TO DEATH which is why I never give up on her. I may not know much, but I know that my friends deserve to have it ALL. Today was Clinically Insane’s last day of her stint in Singapore. She’s been obsessing over it for weeks and fretting every chance she can get. In any case, all that corporate brown-nosing and dealing with brain dead bosses paid off. She got offered a position at UNILEVER’S REGIONAL OFFICE. We are talking about UNILEVER. It’s like the Don Corleone of the conglomerate industry. You walk into their office and pay respects. You do not fuck around with them. In any case, she SCORED an offer from THE HEAD OF THE REGIONAL OFFICE. It doesn’t just happen in the movies, m’friends. It happens here, now. Well .. more like Singapore, a couple of hours ago but that’s not the point. The point is it UNILEVER.

Who’s awesome? I’m AWESOME.
Suck it, biiitches.
\mm/

So, for today, I shall attempt to be in good cheer for as long as I can hold out. I will share cupcakes and vomit rainbows and even crack a smile or two (Schadenfreude-related or not, but mostly it’s the Schadenfreude). But that’s just for today. And MAYBE the weekend. Expect regular embittered programming by Monday morning. But as for now, ONE LOVE.

It’s Friday and I’m in .. like

“Because I am picky .. I’ll take Mara FTW.”

McDo. Greenbelt. UH-OH.

From: Bakla
Message: Then call for dinner. McDo. Greenbelt.

From: Uneditedmara
Message: Guys, could we have dinner/get-together tomorrow night? I really, really need to talk to you. It’s of an important matter? Say, around 730? McDonald’s, Greenbelt.

From: Japayuki
Message: Sure dude. But what is it? How deep in the shit are you? I think I’d rather know now. I’m worried.

From: Vivi
Message: I have something tomorrow night but I’ll try to see if I can make it.

From: Bebot Angel
Message: My fever is kinda acting up. But if you really need me to be there, sure. The tone of your message is making me worry.

So, as per tradition, everyone met up at Greenbelt McDo, the crime of the scene where I first broke the news that I was to have Teh Izzy. Calling for a meeting at this particular place meant there was something BIG.

Except for Clinically Insane (who was hooring it up in SINgapore), everyone (everyone who mattered, anyway) was present and accounted for. Vivi, Japayuki, a voice-less Bebot Angel, Bakla, her main man Mr. Muscle, and I were gathered at a corner table, listening to Vivi’s story (for the nth time) and how Overkill Couple pissed her off. That stalled the announcement for 45 minutes but after that, everyone was just eyeing everyone else, sensing the tension that hung over that corner table.

Japayuki broke the silence and finally called me out. There was something that needed to be said, yes. But I said it would be better if Bakla was the one to tell them. In unison, their heads turned towards her as she was exchanging giggles with Mr. Muscle.

I’m pregnant.
And we’re getting married.

*does jazz hands*

Mouths agape, everyone was stunned into silence. I was laughing my head off knowing that they were thinking I got myself in another fine mess. MOHAHAHAHA! WUZZZNT MEEEE! They could not be shaken out of their stupor! Bakla? Pregnant? Getting married?! The ever-logical Bakla who talked me through my mini-hysterics and my first breakup with Teh Douchebag in college? The ever-logical Bakla who could stand up to Philo professors without looking pale as a ghost? The ever-logical Bakla who could command these gaggle of girls to pay attention? Was pregnant? Getting married?! Yessireee, Bob! We gots a young’un an a wedding to plan! Hey Ma! Bring out the good China’r!

Bakla and Mr. Muscle have already decided on the baby, marriage, and even took it up with their parents. Things were pretty much set  but what was left were the details such as a wedding for 250 people. Yeah, just a small detail like that. After the 10-minute, slack-jawed, speechless grace period, everyone broke out into a congratulatory mood and intensive planning ensued. There was the wedding in less than 3 months and a baby in 8. This is going to be some wild fuckin’ ride, I tells ya. 6 strong-minded women putting together a fine wedding? Oh dear God. There will be blood.

Here’s my congratulatory post to the wonderful couple!
I’m so happy for you guys!
I wish you nothing but the best in life and in love. <3
(We should all be so lucky to marry our first loves.
M o ha ha ha ha ha!)