Dear Ms. Uneditedmara,Lowe, Inc. is currently looking for Copywriters and Sr. Copywriters. We are interested in your profile this we would like to process you for an interview. Should you be interested, kindly send your updated CV in this email address.
Thank you.
Kind regards,
Some woman from Lowe HR
Lowe address that I will prolly obsess over
Lowe number that I will have memorized by the end of this sentence
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To understand my dilemma, you have to know the story. It’s not that complicated, I just make it to be.
I like advertising. I might even say that I love it. Though the talent for it, I’m not so sure I have. People tell me I do and sometimes I see flashes of brilliance, but that’s about it. No substantial or empirical evidence that I DO have the talent to compel me to move on this track. It didn’t help that I only lasted 6 months on the first advertising job that I took. For so many reasons, laziness, fear, anxiety, self-doubt, office politics, shaky working conditions, etc. that job just didn’t fall through. They asked me to resign so I could save face. It was one of the toughest 15 minutes I had to deal with in my whole life. It was also one of the harshest breakups I’ve ever had. To love something and not have it love you back because you weren’t good enough. OUCH.
But now, I’m here. In this office, in this place, with this work, that does not leave much room to flex your creativity or climb up the corporate ladder but it’s something stable and safe. I know I can do this and no boss or superior or megalomaniac is going to tell me how to do my job. I am my own captain and my time is mine. The deadlines that are set are set by me. I am a big fish in a small pond, and that suits me just fine.
But now, Lowe comes a’callin’. AB Comm did a couple of months ago and my excuse for them was pregnancy. Now what? Family life? Reprioritized living? Sheer terror of getting back on the horse? This could be opportunity knocking for the second time. But what if I find out that I really just actually suck? That I have no strong work ethic? Or that I do not “work well with others”?
And I wish I knew what the pay would be like. Because the pay here is shite. But the “benefits” and working environment is to my liking. Like I said, I’d rather be the big fish in the small pond. I don’t think my ego can handle being a newbie again. That experience is just too scarring especially when you don’t know anyone there or when you’re in an industry that thrives in little white (and some times just blatant) lies.
And I can’t do the whole office politics. Because I think that bosses and managers are dumb shits. The only reason that they’re in a position to boss you around is because a) they got there first, b) they fucked someone on the way to the top to expedite things and c) because they know how to pain the walls bullshit and call it THEIR art. Don’t get me wrong, I have respect for the higher ups of the old skool generation. But these days, getting promoted just means that you’re a dickwad and you brown nose like you live off their asses.
Yes, I do need to work on my pride a tad and my attitude could use a little tweaking and I don’t think that my brazen approach to things is going to help me transition well, if I ever did decide to move, which, might I just remind you, a decision that still has to undergo endless hours of talking and analysis and dissection and emotional drama with a smattering of tears and frustrations and abundant moments of emo-ness.
Lord help us all.
