Tea (and a toast) for two

Getting married?? Yay!

I attended my first wedding of the year a mere few weeks ago. It belonged to Clinically Insane’s sister and the whole shebang was held in Tagaytay – Calaruega for the ceremonies and Yellow Coco for the reception. It was a small wedding with no more than 120 guests anticipated. And with Murphy’s Law in full effect the week BEFORE D-day, on the day of was really a test of grace under pressure and your ability to just laugh in the face of Mother Nature. An onlooker might even say that it turned out to be a disaster but looking back, I prefer to think of it as a metaphor for married life.

I said TURQUOISE not GREEN!

You plan and schedule and scrutinize and criticize and try on and edit and redo and hem and haw at every tiny detail just to get it right – the gown, the flowers, the menu, the music, the guest list, the marriage, the budget, the schedules – and yet it won’t all fall perfectly into place. You may run a little late, it may rain a little bit, you might have car trouble, the rain may fall a bit harder, you might need more table settings for unwanted guests, you may have to shut down the electrical systems because it’s getting damp, you may have to forgo cutting the cake, or having your first dance .. SHIT HAPPENS.

Rain? No problem. LIKE A FUCKING BOSS.

I didn’t see the rain-soaked tables or a grass-stained cake. What I saw were the people who really mattered in their lives pull together despite the weather conditions. And that’s what married life is about, really. Yes, it’s a commitment between two people, but it’s also a commitment to the bigger community that has been formed by this holy matrimony – your in-laws, friends, ninongs and ninangs. They stand up there on the altar, beside you, saying, “I am here for the both of you.” And though we may need professional help (to plan a wedding or keep a marriage alive), we forget that there we are surrounded by people who love us and are nothing but eager to help (entertain guests or set more tables). What’s even more amazing is that in your hour of need, these people are willing to forego their health, to walk around in a flooded area, get themselves soaking wet, just to help you out! During such circumstance, it may not seem much because of all the stress, but I assure you, after the rain is gone, the lechon hacked and packed, the iced tea tucked inside, the clouds cleared, and the last photobooth picture taken, whoever is still left standing there with a grin on their face asking you if there’s anything else they can help with those are the people worth keeping in your life and calling family.

 

Today, I raise a glass to the couple who has found what we all would want to have in our lives and to the wonderful people that they have chosen to surround themselves with. If your wedding was any indication of what your married life is going to be, then I worry not for you.

 

Cheers.

Why Do Families (And The World) Lack So Much Love?

written by Bo Sanchez

Mostly, It’s Because Husbands Aren’t Loving Enough…

Two days ago, I had an ecumenical meeting with the President Gloria and various religious leaders in the country (even Muslim leaders). That was where I spoke to Bishop Ruben Abante, the head of the Alliance of Baptist Churches in the Philippines. We were talking about how to solve the problems of the world. Naks. 

That was when Bishop Ruben gave me a word about families that blew my mind. He said, “Brother Bo, the Bible says in Ephesians 5:25, ‘Husbands, love your wives, and wives submit to your husbands.’ Have you ever wondered why the Bible doesn’t say, ‘Wives, love your husbands?’” “Why?” I asked.

The Bishop explained to me that the responsibility to love the family rests on the husband’s shoulder. The wife and the kids are only to respond to that love. In the same way that the Bible says in 1 John 4:9 (my life verse) “We love because He first loved us,” we respond to God’s love for us.

That was powerful. I began to reflect on all the broken families I’ve counselled through the past 28 years of my life. Most of them (not all) were broken because the father didn’t love enough. And as I reflect on all the broken people I’ve counselled, I can see the same pattern. In most of these individuals (again, not all), I see the lack of a loving father in that person’s life.

Fathers, you have a pivotal role in the life of your wife and children. You are to aggressively, Assertively, deliberately love them and they will respond. But the good Bishop was not  finished. He said, “Why didn’t God say, ‘Husbands, submit to your wife?’” “Why?” I asked again.

He said that once that love is there, submission is the natural response. He asked, “Why is there so much rebellion and disobedience among children today?” He explained that kids need to see their mother submit to their father as a model to follow. (We didn’t have time to talk about situations where the man of the house doesn’t love. Should the wife still submit? That difficult question I hope to answer it in another article.

But let me share with you my experience. I love my wife. I do it aggressively, assertively, and deliberately. And she submits to my leadership. I have a vision for the family and I’m bringing my family to that vision-and she supports me.

But what does that mean in daily life? That I’m king and she’s my slave? Gosh, you should visit my home. Because I love her, I want to serve her. And because she follows already my general direction, I realize that 90% of life’s decisions are about the trivial stuff. Because I love her, it’s my joy to say, “Yes” to her. So in reality, I follow her 90% of the time! She isn’t my slave. She is the queen I pamper.

That, my friends, is marital headship-submission in daily life. It is with this note that I greet you a Happy Valentines Day.

May your families be filled with love. Husbands, take responsibility in filling your family with love. Wives, support and submit to your husband.And together, we can fill the world with God’s love.

I remain your friend,
Bo Sanchez

*

Sorry if I’ve been posting of nothing but weddings and babies. Bakla’s upcoming nuptials and bundle of joy are the only things keeping me busy right now. I should look in to getting one of those things they call “a life”. But until then, you’re just gonna hafta get used to the fact that there will be the occasional outburst and sudden opinion on China patterns, floral arrangements, and *shudders* relationships.

I am Awesome merely by association

In an attempt to curb the doom and gloom that my blog is WORLD-RENOWNED for (NOT), bear with me as I try an infuse some warm and fuzzies .. or else I will cut off your head and spit down your throat.

First off, Bakla and Mr. Muscle. (Yes, the couple that’s recently announced that they are bearing a bubba and planning a wedding (for you who are not a follower of this blog (to which I should say, SHUN THE NON-BELIEVER! SHUUUN!)). Well, they met around 4 (?) something years ago and have been together ever since. No, it wasn’t the perfect relationship where everything was just oozing puppies and sugar sprinkles. They had their fair share of the good, the bad, and the OMGWTFWHYTHEHELLAMIEVENWITHYOU moments. Granted that they didn’t do things sequentially (ring, marry, baby), they did things their own way. First came the baby, then came the marriage, and now I am proud to announce (with a big fat HELLZ YEAH) the ring. HE PROPOSED!!! I wasn’t actually there when he did (and it may have not looked like THIS *gripes*), but I can tell you right now that it must’ve been oh so romantic!!! I mean, for Bakla. Not for me. Pffft. I could care less. BUT YAY FOR HER! Apparently, it happened at Greenbelt Chapel, the first church they went to as a couple. He already brought out a box for her in the middle of a Holloween party and led her to the chapel. And at the chapel, he proposed. Can you just imagine the dancing fairies and fireflies and twinkling stars while he asked her?! *clasps hands and giggles madly* One for the storybooks, I tells ya.

Secondly, Clinically Insane. This is not a story like the previous. It probably does not have fairies and fireflies, certainly not a ring, but a proposal of her own. You see, she suffers the same thing everyone does, except in clinically unstable doses. Insecurity and depression are just a few of her demons. I love her TO DEATH which is why I never give up on her. I may not know much, but I know that my friends deserve to have it ALL. Today was Clinically Insane’s last day of her stint in Singapore. She’s been obsessing over it for weeks and fretting every chance she can get. In any case, all that corporate brown-nosing and dealing with brain dead bosses paid off. She got offered a position at UNILEVER’S REGIONAL OFFICE. We are talking about UNILEVER. It’s like the Don Corleone of the conglomerate industry. You walk into their office and pay respects. You do not fuck around with them. In any case, she SCORED an offer from THE HEAD OF THE REGIONAL OFFICE. It doesn’t just happen in the movies, m’friends. It happens here, now. Well .. more like Singapore, a couple of hours ago but that’s not the point. The point is it UNILEVER.

Who’s awesome? I’m AWESOME.
Suck it, biiitches.
\mm/

So, for today, I shall attempt to be in good cheer for as long as I can hold out. I will share cupcakes and vomit rainbows and even crack a smile or two (Schadenfreude-related or not, but mostly it’s the Schadenfreude). But that’s just for today. And MAYBE the weekend. Expect regular embittered programming by Monday morning. But as for now, ONE LOVE.