With you I learned how to fight cleaner, how to talk things out better, and how to make a strong loving family out of nothing. These are priceless gifts that I will carry with me the rest of my life. One more thing you did for me: you left, and I had to get through it.
- Other People’s Love Letters: 150 Letters You Were Never Meant To See
So you wanna know what I want? I want it all. I want to be in love so much it hurts. The frissons. The pin pricks. The mind-blowing sex. The connection. And I want to be married with kids I adore and a husband who makes me feel safe, sexy, smart, secure, silly, serious, salacious, sinful, serene, satisfied. I want someone who makes me laugh until milk comes out of my nose (only I don’t drink milk). I want to finish someone’s sentences. I want to believe in someone, in something, in a future that’s not just about laundry and soccer practice and subdivisions and minivans and guilt-tripping grandparents. I want to make someone a better person. I want to be a good example. I want to love some kids into the world. I want someone who stimulates my brain as much as my body. I want to taste everything and go everywhere. I want to give and I want to get. I want too much and I want it all in one person.
So, what do I want from you? That’s hard to say because it’s not really about want, it’s about wish. Do I wish you were that person for me? Yes. Do I wish that you weren’t married with kids and that I wasn’t living with someone and that even though we work together we could explore the possibilities and that all my dreams would come true? Duh. But you are, and I am, and we can’t and they won’t. So the question is, do I want just a little, or I should say, a little more? Sure, all the time I do. But I know a little’s not going to be enough and then I’ll want more. And then maybe I won’t want more, but you will. Or you won’t and I will. And then there will be nothing and I don’t want that at all.
-From Other People’s Love Letters: 150 Letters You Were Never Meant to See
and this tumblr.
