ONE MONTH

The little mengkee’s poop stinks to high heavens. One wonders where a teeny tiny thing like her got all that rancid crap in there.

And then one remembers her father. Mystery solved.

Father vs Daughter

It’s only the second week and already the Dad is an absentee father. Fercryinoutloud. I can’t even leave him 5 minutes with Isabella. He can’t change her diapers without illustrated instructions! I think Isabella is with me on this one.

I asked the Dad if he could feed and change Isabella because I needed to clean her bottles and clean up a bit myself. I later found him in the nursery trying to figure out what to do next with her. He’s finished wiping her behind but has yet to put on a fresh diaper. I was wondering why the hell he was dilly-dallying with this chore. Isabella made a very powerful statement. She pooped on her blankie.

Needless to say, the Dad fruck out. Thank God I was there to point and laugh. The idiot.

It’s been a while ..

Apologies for not having written in so long (and for the previous post of a mushy song). Trust that I will be back to my old, fabulous, sarcastic self (with boobie stories to tell) in a couple of days. I’m just getting the hang of being a spankin’ brand new momma. I never thought I would have moments of un-fabulousness! My gosh! Don’t worry. I haven’t let myself completely go. I mean, I still do bathe (when I have the time to get away from a screaming child). And sometimes I still do put on makeup (just to have it mopped up from sweating while caring for a screaming child). And I still go dancing (to the tune of Brahm’s lullabye to rock to sleep a screaming child)!

Losing the Dad to work at night doesn’t help either. It’s easily called the Witching Hour because you literally hear evil from an infant’s screams. Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE MY BABY. But sometimes .. she’s just .. so .. *ripping hair out* I have been like the walking dead for the past week. I’ve been stealing bits of sleep here and there but nothing substantial. I’m lucky if I get 2hours of sleep at night. Ahhh .. brings me back to my college days. But even back then, I didn’t have a perennially hungry little human to care for.

Believe me, the lack of posts does not mean a lack of stories and anecdotes. That’s ALL you have to fill your days while waiting for your baby to cry out for you. “Babies are dull.” That is SO true. They don’t really do anything for the first few months. They just sort of stare at you. And sleep. And eat. A LOT. Then poop. A LOT. And then you do it all over again the next day. But I leave you with a little something, just so you don’t starve having gone days without my brilliant wit.

I was sunning Isabella outside the house. It was a nice morning. The sun wasn’t too strong and the skies were clear. Isabella looked like she was pondering on a most important question. One that seemed like a severely important matter to her.

And then she let out a really loud poop.

I guess THAT’S what’s important to a baby.