‘Sup?

I’ve been ‘away’ for months, I know, but that’s what happens when things change. Don’t worry though. Things haven’t changed for the very best or the very worst. Sakto lang.

Fuck bitches…
Relationship-wise, The Boyfriend and I are doing well. We (ie. me) still have the occasional screaming match every 20 something days or so but he’s trying to get a handle on things (ie. his sanity). It was touch and go there for a bit when he went back home for Holy Week and came back to find himself almost without a job as LatAk Client can get PMS-y as well.

Scene: Inside Mah HoMY, late for work, on the phone.

Me: OMG I’m so late for work fuck fuck fuck fuck FUUUUUUUCK!!!

The BF: It’s fine, you can be  late a little bit.

Me: No! NO! This is all YOUR FAULT!

The BF: My fault?? How is a traffic jam MY fault?

Me: I don’t know! IT JUST IS!!

The BF: Okaaay ..

Me: (more profanity) That’s it! Maybe we should just break up then!

The BF: What?? We’re breaking up because you’re stuck in traffic?

Me: YES!!!

The BF: Okay. I think this is the point where I tell you that we’re going to talk again when you’re not like this and you’re thinking clearly.

Me: NO! YOU *WILL* KEEP TALKING TO ME!!! *starts crying, throwing shit in the car, denting dashboard, deforming steering wheel*

The BF: (internally) WHAT. THE. FUCK??

Other than this ^^ occasional scene, we do fine. The Boyfriend is STILL trying to get used to the night shift. He’s been at it for a couple of months and it’s still a trying time. We try to do the usual workaround when I’m on day shift: I wake up at 6, so does he, he makes me coffee, I get ready, spend 5 minutes with him, high-five, and I’m out the door. I come back from work, wake *him* up, make him coffee, he gets ready, we spend 5 minutes, high-five, and he’s out the door. Romantic, I know.

...get money.
I’m clocking in three months at the new job (#YeMA for all my Twitter (twitter.com/uneditedmara) followers out there) that has a STRICT punctuality policy (that I’ve been able to somewhat adhere to). Thank you, thank you. Hold the applause, please. Other than my occassional tardiness, things have been going well. I’m slowly adjusting to new people and new operations and haven’t fucked up too much for anyone to notice. Yet.

This week, a big boss from the US is coming to visit and hear about the first and second quarter operations. We’re shitting bricks as we speak. It’s a big deal for the Manila Studio but I’d like to think it’s not because when I do, that usually gets the best of me and I start to feel faint and throw-uppy.

GPOY
(When I haven’t shaved in a few days)

Over the weekend, I’ve had to try to switch from night shift to day shift mode and IT. IS. KILLING. ME. I have to take a handful of vitamins for fear of just dying in the middle of the Studio and being hauled into the garbage chute. I’m disposable so I need to get my guard up. I also had to do a little sum’in sum’in on the sideline for a friend, so it’s kinda stepped on the toes of readjusting my body clock. But money’s money so I can’t complain much.

Life or something like it
Now that I’m going back to normal working people hours, I expect to see a lot less of The Boyfriend and a lot more of my friends. I have to go back to #QuizNight and show my face, my intelligence not so much. Also, attend to other things such as ENROLING THE IZ, which I still haven’t done. #PHOTOFINISHER Speaking of The Iz, she’s away on a 2-week vacation at the province. I figured she should at least know what dirt looked like. She’ll be back in time for the first day of classes and I assume things will go back to (next to) normal status.

But as for me, I stink like a bag of dead turtles so I gotta go shower now. So … smell ya later?

PS. I’ve missed you, guys.

After the rain has gone

So much has happened and I’m still trying to wade through the thick muck that has been the past year. Apologies if I’ve not kept this blog alive. Please thank Twitter as it has been the receptacle of all the blog posts that were meant to be published in a long-winded entry but have remained 140-character nugget of ideas. I shall try my bestest to pull together a couple of posts that will almost resemble my experiences. Pardon if none of them are polished or classy. There are days that I just am not that awesome.

Today, however, I have five minutes. So I may be able to shit out something before I take off for the day. Exciting, no?

Hello, again.

I’ve missed blogging. I haven’t even Twittered in a couple of days. Already I feel like I’m about to burst. But sometimes, the most important stories are those told to friends in between sips of coffee or bottles of beer, whichever is your poison. And I’ve missed my friends. They’ve always been there for me. And now that things are happening in their lives (eg. Seoul, bum-ness, babies), things are just not the way they were. I am happy for them. I mean, beyond happy. Their lives are changing and that’s what ought to happen in life, CHANGE. It doesn’t matter if it’s for the better or for the worse. The most important thing is that SOMETHING is happening. That we’re not just cruising by life with one shitty day after the other where we don’t even know when the shit ends and begins.

Things are not going so well these days. I mean, I’m not totally depressed (well, there *are* days), but at least I don’t want to kill myself everydamnday. But there are people that help you during these times are there are just people that make you feel worse; some unintentionally, but worse nonetheless. And to be completely honest, I don’t know why I bother reaching out to those that give me nothing but grief. I would like to think that I’m a pretty strong person and that I try to give everyone a fair chance, whether they deserve it or not.

It has surprised me that the people I think who know me, don’t know me at all. And the people I expect to flake out on me at any moment, are still there just waiting and wanting to give me a big bear hug at the end of a shitty day. How could I be such a poor judge of character? How can I not read people the way they REALLY are? How is it possible to spend extraordinary amounts of time talking and being with one person and then just have him/her forget how you look like? Or have two unplanned weeks with another and have him/her want you to spend Christmas with family and friends halfway around the world? CAN YOU TELL ME WHY? Because I sure as FUCK don’t have a clue.

Sometimes life feels like the movies, where the cute and handsome male lead turns out to be a moron and a half and the trash-talking and obnoxious friend turns out to be .. not. As lovely as the setup sounds, the scene (of my life, at least) just keeps revolving around this part. It never reaches the end where the pair, realizes that they’re meant for each other, run to each other (on the beach, in the street, in an airport, on the Empire State Building), kiss, walk hand in hand, and live happily ever after.

I know life owes me no favors. What I have, I worked hard for. And what I want, I need to get on my own merit. I am not like Victory Ford who has a bazillionaire boyfriend who flies her off to Paris for a romantic evening or have sushi in Miami in his private jet. It’s okay that I don’t have that. Really. (Though I would not mind one bit if there was such a bazillionaire waiting to sweep me off my feet.) But this is the real world. And in the real world, shit like that don’t happen to women like me. It’s fine that life does not have THAT storyline for me. But sometimes, I would just want to know what happens a couple of pages later because I just need something, anything so I can lie to myself and say that everything’s going to work out fine. Because from where I’m sitting, this movie looks like it’s headed for the shelf of sob stories and mindfucks.

Seriously, Life. Two thumbs DOWN.

United Nations

Meeting new people is always awkward and exhilarating. I love the fact that I am challenged to find something in common with them or how I could get along with someone not so agreeable. If anything, meeting new people is a study of what kind of person I have become and how I cope with my ever-changing surroundings. Don’t get me wrong, I love meeting new people just to get to know them but for me, there’s more to it than an exchange of cultures, ideas, and moments. Everything about it excites me, keeps me on my toes. I’ve met more people this year than I ever have in the decades that I’ve walked this planet (save for Ateneo OrSem) and the time I’ve spent with them has made me feel grateful that there are other interesting people out there, outside of my own comfortable circle.

I met Dutchboy and Dutchman at a bar in AVenue. From what I recall, it was a Friday night and Bebot Angel (along with Japayuki) called for a drinking session. I wanted to bail because I was dressed so shabbily and I knew they had a penchant for going to posh bars where there was a dress code and a very judgmental bouncer at the door. Bebot Angel reassured me that this was just going to laid back and steady. I agreed and met her at a Starbucks somewhere with my huge RED Liverpool laptop bag in tow. We ended up in Attica, eating and driking the night away. Dutchboy bumped into (a very tipsy) me on the “dancefloor” and started dancing alongside, doing some sort of “dance” that can only be descibed as “monkey flinging poo”. I don’t remember quite well how I got introduced to The Dutchman but apparently I did and by the end of the night, we all were exchanging numbers. During the course of this new-found friendship, we have since invited Dutchman and Dutchboy to have lunch in Tagaytay and a little sightseeing. On that day, we met the Peruvian Princess who worked with Dutchboy.

L-R: Dutchman, Dutchboy, Peruvian Princess, Clinically Insane

(photo taken from Clinically Insane‘s Facebook)

Through Peruvian Princess, I have met the rest of their international co-workers and we’ve hung out a couple of times to drink or hang at their pad or go to dance class on Saturdays. Yes, she got me to commute and then pay someone to hurt me and make me sweat.  He he he ~

L-R: Ms. Poland, Dutchboy, Mr. Canada, Ms. Solvakia, Peruvian Princess

(photo taken from Peruvian Princess‘s Facebook)

Peruvian Princess with Ms. Romania and Ms. Canada

(taken from Ms. Romania and Ms. Canada’s Facebooks)

At first, it was kinda tough to get along with them since they were all from different backgrounds to begin with and that they all work at the same place. So pretty much, I was left up to listening to them talk about their day at the office or what’s been happening in their personal lives. Being the talker, this was no easy feat but it was also kinda refreshing (in a frustrating kind of way) because I was forced to be the listener for once. And you know what? It ain’t so bad.

First gear

Like I said, I haven’t been updating my blog in a while because mostly it’s just tiny moments that can be best summed up in 140 characters. I microblog for my own peace of mind. I feel that what I had for lunch or why I’m using the orange highlighter instead of the yellow doesn’t merit an actual blog post. I mean, unless you, my reader, are interested in that sort of shit, then it will go into my Twitter. But I think I need to exercise my writing skills beacuse they are getting rusty and I think that the tiny details in my life DO make up the whole thing. You have been forewarned that there may be a barrage of quick posts in the coming days. I shall try to import 140 characters into a decent blog entry. Bear with me through this phase.